I'm Back
by Seoighe
Summary: This is my first fanfic . This story picks up with Tara arriving back in Charming before the pilot.
1. Chapter 1

There she sat on the bonnet of her car just staring at the sign right in front of her, 'Welcome to Charming, Our name says it all'. She wasn't sure of her emotions but knew that sooner or later she was going to have to cross that line and face her past but she just wasn't sure was ready for it especially not now with everything else that was going on.

Suddenly she jumped as her cell rang aloud taking her out her trance. As she flipped it open she smiled and answered 'Is everything okay?'

''Shouldn't I be the one asking you that. You said you'd be arriving a few hours ago Tara. Are you okay, what's happened?" Donnas concern for her evident in her tone made her smile, her dearest and oldest friend still looking out for her after all these years.

'Donna everything's fine, I just got caught up' she said with a crooked smile as she slides of the bonnet and makes her way around to the drivers door, 'how's my da?'

'Tara its probably best if you come straight here to St Thomas. He's deteriorating very fast and the doctors don't how long he's got left. Hun I'm so sorry' Donna's voice came sounding slightly panicked and full of worry. 'Donna I'll be there don't worry. 'I'll see you in ten' Tara's voice so clam and cool to put her friend at ease. 'Okay, seen you then' came Donnas response they both hung up. Tara then pulled out from where she was parked and crossed that border she had run so far away from 10 years earlier and drove straight to the hospital as Donna suggested.

That was now a fortnight ago and she was packing her Dad into her car to bring him home, where he wanted to be. Tara didn't know why she was surprised really she should of expected that her Dad would find some way of screwing with her and with her return to Charming the doctors were happy to release him into her care. She couldn't believe what was happening but she figured it'd give her some time to work out all the other shit that was happening back in Chicago. As her Dad was up and down continuously there was no way of predicting how long it was going to be. Lucky her boss from Chicago understood and accepted a leave of absence for however long it took. 'Tara stop the day dreaming and lets get going' came her Dads stern voice jolting her away from her thoughts. Once her Dad was belted in she then threw his couple of bags in the back of the car and as she made her way to the drivers door there he was across the cark park getting off his bike. There it was, she felt something for the first time since she was back a wave of emotion and although he was the other side of the car park it felt as though he was right there standing in front of her no distance between them. She shook if as quickly as possible and climbed into the car. She looked back and saw he was meeting with a pregnant blonde who was standing outside the hospital door and as she started the car and pulled out of her space she saw him look back. So he did know, 'oh well guess that means I can stop hiding' she thought to herself.

When they got back to the house and unpacked her Dad was tired so she helped him to his room to rest. Just as she came back into the kitchen there was a knock on the door, which made her jump, as she wasn't expecting anybody. She went to get something from her handbag when she heard Donna's voice 'Tara, you there?' Tara relaxed and made her way to the door and opened it to see her best friend standing there with a bag of groceries. 'Figured you'd want a cup of coffee and then figured you probably didn't have time to pick the stuff up so here you go' Donna said as she made her way through to the kitchen putting the bag down on the table. 'Your right again my friend, want one?'

'Of course I do.' Donna answered as if there was no need to ask. The kids are at school and its Pinneys day to pick them up and god only knows where Ops at so you have me for as long as you want' came Donnas answer fast and happy. Tara made the coffee and the two women sat down at the table and chatted away as if they'd done it everyday. Tara was exhausted from everything in Chicago and coming home it was good to have someone to talk all that shit out with someone. 'So what's the plan now?' asked Donna. Tara looked up at her friend not knowing how she was going to react and continued 'I put in for a transfer to St Thomas back in Chicago and its all gone through I start next week'. Donna's eyes beamed with delight 'You mean your home for good?' she questioned. Tara meet her friends eyes and smiled 'Yea baby I'm back'.


	2. Chapter 2

Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my last and first upload. I own nothing.

It had now been a month since she was back in town and while Donna was happy to heave her best friend back she was worried. Tara reassured her that there was nothing to worry about, that she'd done everything to make sure there was no leads back to Charming from Chicago. While Donna was sure she was right she still couldn't sake the feeling that something bad was going to happen and Tara made her promise not to tell Op. Suddenly she heard the front door shut making her jump and when she looked to him she could tell something was wrong 'What is Op?'

Op looked at her unsure of what to say but he went straight to her and held her tight and as he backed away he looked at her, her cell phone rang. She looked to Op and then her phone and Op nodded to let her know it was okay to answer. The caller id read 'Tara' and she answered as quickly as humanly possible as she made her way into the lounge so Op couldn't hear her.

She could hear Tara trembling on the other side as she spoke 'I need you. He's asking for me, its not going to be long and I can't do this alone.' Donna answered without hesitation 'Okay, I'm on my way'. Donna looked up to see Op standing there watching her waiting for an explanation but all she could muster was 'I've got to go Op'. Picking up her keys she headed for the door only for Op to stop her 'Donna, what's going on?' he said in his most sincere voice. Donna looked up at him with her big eyes, he could tell there was something going on 'she's my family Op and she needs me'. Op took her face in his hands and said 'why didn't you tell me? She's my family too?' He then kissed her and let her go saying 'I'll get Pinney to pick the kids up and keep them for a while and meet you over there. Okay' he said in a slightly questioning tone. Donna looked back over her shoulder to the man she loved and nodded to let him know that was okay.

As she pulled up she saw the care nurse leaving and Tara just standing in the doorway. Donna rushed to her engulfing her in the biggest and tightest hug possible. Donna turned to move back into the house but Tara hesitated for a moment and then followed her friend. Donna showed her to the table and had her sit down as she made fresh coffee. There wasn't a word spoken between the two. They both just sat there in silence both drinking their coffees. Donna watched her friend to the point she could tell that she was struggling with it all.

Tara began to speak 'I don't know Donna. I feel numb, I feel like its not real but its is real, I watched it happened. I should be feeling something..' she jumped as they both heard the sound of a bike pull up outside. Tara just looked at her friend half afraid and yet the other half hopeful but she didn't move. Donna got up placing a hand on Tara's letting her know she was there and went to the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my last and first upload. I own nothing.**

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><p>Donna tried to keep clam but 'God dam Op. If you've said anything I'm gonna kill you' she thought to herself. As she approached the door she took a deep breath and opened the door half afraid of what was possibility about to take place. He was approaching the door and as he stepped onto the porch Donna flung open the door and stepped aside allowing him to enter and nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen to where Tara was still sitting.<p>

Tara's ears had pricked up but she was frozen to her spot and couldn't move. The sound of those boots against the wood was still so vivid and familiar to her. He moved to her side placing an arm around her and lifted her into his arms.

Donna watched them both from her spot and smiled to herself. She had an overwhelming feeling that things were going to be alright and it brought a tear to her eye as she saw two of the most important people in her life reconnect. As she closed the door she saw him look over Tara's shoulder right at her and she could see it in his eyes how much it meant to him to be able to be there.

Donna moved towards them as they both stood there by the comer of the table in each others silent embrace as Op started to pull away and looked at the girl he long ago accepted as a sister. His eyes meet hers and he could see the smallest of tears escape her eyes and he pulled her close again for a moment and then released her again. He could tell that she was happy to see him even under the circumstances but he couldn't help but notice that there was a small hint of disappointment there also. Donna was now standing by them both and exchanged looks with them both as Op threw his arm around her and embraced them both together for a moment.

Donna looked up at Op who was standing by the sink and caught his eye. Even though they were alone they didn't need to speak any word to know what was going through their minds. 'You weren't feeling so good and I had to bring you to the docs' Op answered her question with a smirk breaking the silence. Donna just looked at him and nodded in agreement and they both went back to sipping their coffees, deep in their own thoughts.

Opie's mind was going crazy with all the memories, history, what ifs, now and worst of all what's next. He just couldn't tell yet where he was landing, he could tell he was happy to see her and be able to be here her now when she needed them but until everything else got answered there was just no way of telling how he was feeling. He looked to Donna who was deep in her own thoughts causing more things to crowd into Opie's mind. He wondered what was going on his old ladys mind, what thoughts were causing her to be quite and distance. Whatever it was couldn't be good and he needed to work out what was going on before Jax found out. Shit if Jax finds out that he knew she was back and kept it from him his life wouldn't be worth living. Anyhow she was here for her Dad and that was it, she'd be gone in a couple of weeks wasn't it? He thought trying to reassure himself but something more was going on, he could tell from the way Donna had been acting and he was going to have to push them into giving him the truth but now wasn't the time. He'd try later.

Donna could feel the tenseness in the room between her and Op. She'd figure he'd put it down on having to come up with a cover story, as he knew how much she hated lying. And that part was true, she did hate the fact of having to have a cover story she was damn well angry at it but then again she was angry about a lot things including the fact that she'd be lying to Op although it wasn't lying she just wasn't telling him everything. She looked back to Op standing there taking a sip of his coffee and deep in his own world of thoughts. She knew he was taking a risk being there and coving it and all but she even hated that. Right now she hated everything and there wasn't a Goddamn thing she could do about it. She drank some more coffee trying to get her emotions and thoughts into check otherwise she was going to drive herself crazy with them and that was the last thing Tara needed right now.

Just then Tara came back into the kitchen with the phonebook and chucked it onto the table in front of her as she sat down again. Op poured out a fresh cup of coffee for her and all I could do was hold her had before setting to work on that phonebook.

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><p>I would really love to get some feedback from you guys letting me know what you think. Thanks in advance x<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my last and first upload. I own nothing.**

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><p>It was morning; the morning and Tara lay motionless on her bed staring at her ceiling, thoughts coming and going. She couldn't work out what she was feeling or if she was feeling anything. Today was going to be a tough one she thought and there was a strong possibility that it wasn't just this day that she was going to have to face. As she lifted her head off her pillow a heavy sigh escaped and as she took a deep breath her eyes fell to the black dress that was hanging on her wardrobe. She lifted her eyes and shook her head slightly before falling back down on the pillow. She wasn't ready not yet; a couple of more minutes couldn't hurt, right.<p>

Donna was in the kitchen drinking her coffee, as the kids and Op were getting ready. Her thoughts were wondering about what happens next. Tara has said that there no news from Chicago and broached the idea about going back there but there was no way of telling for sure that; that shit was over with and she wasn't okay with her friend doing that that was for certain. Luckily she'd convinced Tara to hold off on making that decision but wasn't sure for how long that could last. The front door opening brought Donna back from her thoughts and smiled at Pinney who had cleaned himself up. 'I thought you'd want to be at the house' he said in a knowing tone. 'I'll take the kids with me, so you and Op can take your time'. Donna nodded 'Thanks pop, I could really do with getting over there. Can you let Op know that I've already headed over there, he's upstairs with the kids'. 'Sure thing sweetheart' he answered as he kissed her forehead as she passed him on her way to the door. She looked back 'You look good pop' she said with a smile as she walked out the door.

As she pulled up outside Tara's there was no car in the driveway and she started to panic. She opened the glove box and took out another set of keys and rushed to the door. She managed to take a breath and decided it'd be best if she knocked first and when there was no answer she lifted her keys and let herself in quietly. As she approached the kitchen she let out a scream as Tara entered the kitchen at the same time from the other hallway causing both to jump and scream at each other. They both stood there for a moment in shock and then started giggling hysterically. 'Jesus Christ Donna what were you thinking, are you trying to give me a heart attack?' Donna smiled at her friend who was more concerned with getting answers that with the fact she was just standing there in her underwear. 'I was thinking no car, no answer.' 'No Tara' Tara answered her friends statement. Donna looked at her and lifting up her arms as she spoke 'look I'm sorry I guess I wasn't thinking'. As Tara embraced Donna in the biggest hug she could the front door opened again and Op walked in smiling at the view in front of him. 'Looks like I got here just in time ' he said with a huge smirk on his face. Both women looked at him 'roll that tongue back in. You couldn't handle both of us' Donna teased as she picked up a cloth and threw it at him. She turned back to Tara 'You need a hand?' Tara nodded and as both women walked towards the bedroom the both heard the thud of Ops boots behind them. Donna looked back at him raising an eyebrow and told him to make some coffee.

The service had ended and there was all these people shaking her hand and offering their condolences. She recognised some but not all and already she had forgotten many of them. She was thankful that Donna and Op had stayed close because she didn't know she could have done it alone. Just then there was gap in-between the people that that were approaching her and she saw him. They locked eyes and he nodded and waved to her. She nodded and half smiled back acknowledging his presence. Shit! Her mind and emotions were going crazy all over again and just then Pinney came to her and embraced her tightly. As Pinney loosened his grip on her and held her by the shoulders 'Its good to see you sweetheart. I'm sorry about your da but you need anything you come to me. Alright'. Tara looked at the old man he'd become over the years she'd been gone and half smiled again this time embracing him again 'You know I will' she answered giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Many hours had passed since they'd been here this morning and the only difference seemed to be the bottles of beer they each had instead of coffee. Donna spoke up 'have you decided what you're going to do?' Tara took a swig of her beer as she looked at her friend and then to Op 'I'm going to stick around. You're right, now's not the time to make such a decision not until I've got my head straight and I know for sure everything's been put to rest' she answered locking eyes with Donna who nodded knowingly. Op took a swig of his beer and as he raised his head he noticed a weird look of exchange between his wife and old friend. He shrugged it off and took another swig of beer. As Donna finished hers 'You going to be okay on your own tonight?' Tara nodded and look to them both 'Go home to you kids and let Pinney go have a few for himself for Christ's sake' half smiling and leading them out. 'Need to get my sleep as I'm back at the hospital tomorrow.' Donna looked at her surprised and shocked but before she could ask Tara cut her off 'We're short staffed and it'll keep me busy'. Tara nodded to Donna to reassure her. She then hugged them both and watched from the porch as they both pulled away in the cool air of the night. She stood there for a few moments taking in a couple of deep breaths. There was something oddly comforting about the stillness and clam of the night before she turned to go back inside.

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><p>I was thinking I'd move onto the pilot ep in the next chapter but I've had an idea about adding another sequence to the dynamic before doing so. Let me know what you guys think.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my last and first upload. I own nothing.**

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><p>The loud beeping sound echoing from her alarm clock woke Tara from a deep slumber. Still a bit groggy she turned over out stretched her arm and switched the damn thing off. She climbed out of bed and went through her daily morning routine like nothing had changed. She approached her Dads room as she'd done every other morning since she'd come back. She stopped right in the doorway and looking to the empty bed that lay there right in front of her, she half smiled to herself raising her eyebrows and slightly shook her head as she tapped her hand against the doorframe and turned around and headed for the kitchen.<p>

In desperate need she put the coffee pot on immediately and wondered if the paper had been delivered. She went to the front window and with barley moving curtain she could, a skill she'd learnt in Chicago over the last few months, she could see the paper halfway down the drive. Her eyes scanned as much of the road she could cover and nothing seemed to be out of place. She slowly walked out and went to get the paper as her eyes continued to scan the neighbourhood. Once she had it in her hand she turned and began walking back to the house. She'd only mad it a couple of steps before she was lifted off the ground causing her to scream and kick as hard as she could in turn causing her assailant to release her and without turning around to see who it was she darted towards the door.

She hadn't heard the voice that was calling after her. She'd made it the door and was struggling a little with it when she suddenly felt hands on her shoulders. She decided this time she was going to have to fight and raised her arm high and swung her elbow backwards as she turned to face her assailant hitting him right in the chest. 'Jesus Christ Tara, cough, what's got you so, cough, jumpy? Cough" came Ops familiar sound.

Tara just stood there in shock shaking and staring at Op. With her mind going way too fast for her to comprehend the thoughts which was also the reason she couldn't respond to Op. When Op noticed how frozen to the spot she was and that it could be some time before he got an answer out of her he gently approached her and put his hands on her shoulders and said 'Lets go inside ' slightly whispering it to her as a way of comfort.

He opened the door and turned her around to go back inside and as he did he noticed the paper on the ground so he picked it up and lead her to the kitchen table and she sat down. As Op laid the paper down on the table and made his way over to the coffee pot Tara began to come round from whatever trance she'd been in. She looked to the paper and then to Op and her eyes began to water. She shook her head willing the tears away and lifting up her hands which were still shaking she let out a huge sigh causing Op to turn around and look at her. 'Seriously, Tara are you okay?' She raised her eyes to Op just as a few tears escaped down her face. He put the coffee pot back and lifted her from her chair and held her close.

What the fuck is happening, this is no the Tara I fucking know. Thoughts and lots of them started to flood Ops mind but he needed to keep control, as they were only thoughts and not the truth. Well that was what he hoped. But one thing for certain he'd never seen her like this. Tara was always able to hold her own, especially around the guys, she never let her emotion show. Even when she walked away ten years ago she'd done a good job at trying to convince everybody that she didn't care, hell even Jax was believing it but that came from his anger but Donna and I both knew better, she was ripping herself apart on the inside.

Op could feel her start to wriggle so he loosened his grip on her. Tara tooka step backwards and looked at her friend. Shit what was she going to do now she cursed to herself. 'Look you wanna tell me what that was all about out there? Op questioned. Tara didn't want to lie to her friend but she also couldn't tell him the truth. 'I don't know Op maybe its just everything catching up on me you know. Remember we only buried my Da yesterday.' She replied hoping that it was convincing. 'Well then, maybe Donnas right about it being too soon for you to go back to work. Really its a good thing she sent me round to check on ya!' Op said in reply. Tara relaxes at the change of subject and actually was enjoying the catch up chat with Op. She knew Donnas feelings on things but she suspected that Op wasn't the same way inclined. Op always liked chatting to Tara it was always easy and while he accepted the change of subject he knew there was more to what had happened but he knew better then to push it at the moment.

Tara's beeper went off tearing them both away from their chat. She looked at the time 6:45am and then she looked to Op 'that's the hospital, they need me' she said she was grabbing her bag and keys. 'Do you need a lift?' Op questioned. Tara looked at him 'Well yea. I though I'd have time to dig the cutless out but you see and old friend dropped by for a chat at 6:30am' she sarcastically answered. Op smiled at her as he slowly made his way to her door where she was now standing and patted her head. 'There she is, same old stress head Tara Knowles'. Tara looked up at him smiling and started pushing him out the door, 'Op when the hospital pages me, it usually means life or death, so you think we can get pass the child play and get me there ASAP?' Op nodded and opened the truck door for her and got her to the hospital in record time. She leaned over, kissed him on the cheek and said thanks. As she was getting out Op looked over 'better be careful doc people might get the wrong idea and I'm a happily married mad' he said smirking at her. She picked up an empty cigarette box and lightly threw it at him and then turned and walked through the doors without even thinking.

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><p>Thanks to everybody whos reviewed and added this story to their lists in any form. I am trying to keep updated as regularly as possible.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so this chapter ties into the pliot. I hope you guys like it as its also a longer one then usual. Again I own notting, Sons of Anarchy is the work of Kurt Sutter and FX.**

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><p>Tara was beginning to feel alright again after her jump start this morning with Op. She was happy to be at work, glad of the distraction and it was a light day. A page from the ER brought her away from her thoughts as she race down the halls to the Emergency Room. Man this place certainly busy she thought surprised. As she approached the nurse she spoke up 'this way Dr. Knowles', leading Tara into the room towards the back. As the nurse opened the door and she saw who the patient in the bed was she took a moment to take a deep breath before allowing herself to kick into doctor mode. Dr. Amed was also paged and was just preparing for the c-section and asked Tara to assist to which she agreed. Tara knew her history could complicate things but she wasn't about to leave these patients because of it. This girl had screwed up royally; Tara didn't understand how she could have done this to herself and her unborn child. Thanks to Donna she was all clued in on Jax and Wendy's current situation as her friend put it. Either way she put all that behind her as they went into the operating theatre for the c-section.<p>

Tara along with another doctor was settling Wendy back into a recovery room and when she turned towards the door she saw them approaching. She thought it best for her to speak to them/ to him as it might make it a little easier on them/him, for it to be a familiar face. The moment she exited the room he was standing there right in front of her. This was the closest they'd been since she got back in town and it was tense and she didn't know why. They had spoken before and agreed not to interfere with each other. Jax knew Op and Dona were there for her so he wasn't worried and until now he was okay with that but right now this moment he was scared and he knew she could tell. 'What the hell happened?' he questioned. 'When was the last time you saw her?' Tara questioned him back trying to piece together what pieces she could. 'A couple of weeks' he answered her slightly defensively. Tara eyed Gemma as she began 'Her hands and feet are full of track marks' now eyeing Jax she finished 'Toxicology reports aren't back yet but most likely crank'. There she'd done it gave them the news on Wendy. Her mind wondered how they'd let it get this bad. This wasn't their style or least it wasn't before she left. Jax seemed to be in disbelief at her actions and looked to the bed in the recovery room to where she was laid out cold. 'The baby?' he asked in shock of seeing Wendy's flat stomach. Tara with all her strength locked eyes with him 'we had to do an emergency c-section' her eyes darted to Gemma knowing she needed to hear this too, 'he's ten weeks premature'.

'Holy Shit!' exclaimed Jax looking back towards his mum slightly panicked. Tara in full doctor mode noticing the worry and panic that surrounded her tried to clam things down ' come on lets sit down and I'll walk you through it' she said calmly. 'Just tell me' Jax said having raised his voice enough for Gemma to her and move closer to them. Jax looked to her and then back to Tara and so she went on 'He's got a congenital heart defect and gastro-stricices' she spoke softly and realising what she just said would mean nothing she broke eye contact momentarily nodding her head to snap her out of doctor mode slightly, 'a tear in his stomach. The gastro and early birth are from the drugs but the CHD is probably'

'The family flaw' Gemma finished for her. Tara shifted a little, as she wasn't entirely comfortable with Gemmas approach but she locked eyes with Jax once again 'Yes. Its genetic, either one would be serious not life treating however the two of them together' she paused as Jax titled his head backwards and shook it slightly when sifting weight from one leg to the other at the same time. Once he stood firmer like he was squaring up to one of the guys she continued knowing he was ready to take the hit 'Dr. Amed gives hin a 20% chance and I'm afraid that's being optimistic'. There she'd done it, given them the worst as she watched jax's reaction to it Gemma spoke up in shock 'Oh my God'. Jax was shifting around and responded to his mothers statement with a slight defensive tone as his eyes darted from her to Tara 'She never wanted to talk to me. I didn't know'. Tara knew Jax was speaking the truth, she could still tell from his tone and his eyes. Even after all this time she could still tell when he was telling the truth. He needed reassurance this wasn't his fault and so she spoke again 'her OB said she missed her last 3 appointments. No one knew' she told him shaking her head slightly wondering how on earth Wendy could do this to him, to them. But she locked eyes with Jax so he knew she was also telling the truth. It wasn't over by a long shot so she went on 'Dr. Amed wants to go in and repair the stomach and then if he stabilises he'll go in and repair the heart. I'm sorry Jax.' The last few words she spoke where the most sincere. She really felt for Jax, could tell this was hard on him and he didn't know what to do but that's what she was there for to help guide him through this, it was her job after all. There was silence between them all for a few moments as the news shank in. 'I can take you to see him' she said breaking the silence as she turned away from them in the direction of the special care unit. She figured that by moving they would follow her but they stood still. As she opened the door to the special care unit Jax quickly moves towards her calling her name. She stopped and turned around to face Jax moving right towards her. He's only inches away when he speaks again 'Tara, you don't have to do this I'm sure you've got other patients '. She interrupted him 'I asked Dr. Amed if I could assist. I want to help your son'. Jax looked her understanding that she still cared and wanted to help, hell he wanted her to. 'His names Abel' he told her. She looked at Jax unsure of how to react and before she knew it the words had come out 'It's a good name'. There was a moments struggle for her to take this in, their closeness. Jax turned away from her and started walking away. Tara sensed he was allowing his anger to take over and called after him 'Jax' she was worried what was about to happen. Gemma sensing the worry and the anger also called after her son 'Jackson'. She thought if he was going to listen to anybody it would be her. But he just kept walking only turning to point and say 'Go with Tara. I've got something to do'. Once Clay gave the others orders to go with Jax, Gemma obeyed her son and turned to Tara and nodded. Tara understood and to say Gemma wasn't a happy person right now was an understatement. She nodded in response and turned around as Gemma walked down the hall behind her in complete silence. There wasn't much time before the surgery and told Gemma she might want to ring someone while she was waiting. Tara then left with Abel and the team for his surgery.

After a while Tara came out to give Gemma an update and saw her sitting with Luanne. As she approached Gemma stood to greet her. 'Abel's stomach surgery went well but its putting a strain on his system. Dr. Amed doesn't want to wait, thinks we should do the heart surgery now' she informed her. Gemma in shock just nodded. 'Well that's good right that they're not waiting' Luanne questioned. 'It's the best choice yes' Tara responded professionally. 'Thanks' was all Gemma could muster to say to her. Tara hesitantly continued 'Can we talk?' As both women move away from the seating area Tara spoke up 'Wendy's in really bad shape, she's still detoxing, she can't stop crying'. 'And' Gemma interrupted her harshly. 'Was hoping maybe you could talk to her just let her know she's not all alone' Tara responded. She knew Gemma was angry but this was her daughter-in-law so there must be something there. 'Trust me. Nothing I'm gonna say to that crank whore is gonna make her loved' Gemma said as a matter of fact. Tara shook her head in slight disbelief at what she was hearing but decided to push it; she could do with an argument 'forgot how forthright you can be'. 'Forgot a lot of things sweetheart' Gemma said in response. Both of them itching for the argument, 'if you've got a problem with me assisting on Abel's case just say so' Tara piped up. 'You a good doctor?' 'Yes'. 'Then I don't have a problem' Gemma told her. Even-though it was her own doing she couldn't leave it alone, 'Good. You know people change. I'm not the same girl I was ten years ago.' Gemma glaring at Tara responded 'I am'. Tara deciding it was time to let it go turned to walk away and as she did Gemma held her hand out and lifted up her scrubs, revealing a crow tattoo on Tara's lower back, 'Guess there's some things you can't change' Gemma said. Tara turned clearly wound up 'I leave it there to remember all that shits behind me.' Gemma just shrugged 'forgot just how cleaver you can be'. At that both women went their separate ways. As Tara was going down the hall her cell rang. She picked it out of her pocket and checked the called id, it was Op. 'Hey everything alright?' she said as she answered. 'Look I need a favour' Op said sounding ominous. 'Go on' she said. 'Look I need to get Elie on record as being at ER' he said softly. Tara thinking quickly said 'how quick can you get here?' she questioned him. 'Actually outside' Op responded. 'Right give me a minute and meet me at the door when I come out'. Op approached her with Ellie by his side. It was just the two of them confirming Tara's suspicion that this was cover. Op just looked at her not knowing what to do. She looked at them both 'follow me' and she led them into the ER. No one asked any questions as they were with her. As they walked through Tara picked up the papers. She had Ellie sit up on the bed and got her to relax. She looked to Op 'I'm gonna take a blood test. Okay' she questioned raising her eyebrows at him. 'Yea. Thanks Tara.' 'Look Op just don't go making a habit of it alright. It's just this once. Right I've put on the form that it was a mysterious insect bite.' She explained as she took the blood from Ellie. Op just looked at them both. 'Right all done. No go home to Donna and Kenny' she told him. 'Tell Donna I'll call her soon Op. Its been a very odd day and its long from over'. Op looked at her as he listened 'Thanks Tara. I will do.' 'Oh and Op next time you pass on freak out stories to your pop I'm make sure Donna brings you in here for something serious' she said to him winking and smiling as she opened the curtain and let them out.

She ran back up stairs to pre-op and got ready in record speed. Man it had been a while and things were going alright but suddenly something dropped. Dr. Amed allowed me to massage the heart. It was so incredible to feel this tiny heart in my hands and begin to beat again it was amazing. It wasn't long after that when Dr. Amed closed up. Abel had stabilised and was in good condition. After checking in on him she came out of the room as Jax rounded the comer coming face to face with her. Jax saw her 'Is he going to be okay?' he questioned her. Tara smiled 'looks good' and let a little laugh of relief escape before Jax embraced her in his arms. It felt so good to be giving him good news, seeing and feeling his happiness. Jax reluctantly started to loosen his grip on her. He stayed close to her breathing in her scent. Tara could feel it too and didn't want to pull away but when she looked down as she settled her feet on the ground again she noticed the blood making her pull back quicker. Jax saw the look in her eye and didn't say a word he just stood there exposed to her for her to open this cut and find the blood on this shirt. She couldn't believe her eyes but she was thankful he wasn't hurt that much she could tell. 'Clean yourself up Jax' she whispered as she broke away from him standing to the side to let him pass. Tara stood there watching pass her wondering what shit went down but she was knackered, today had been a very long day and she just wanted to go home. On her way home she replayed the days events in her head and decided she wasn't going to get any sleep without a little help so she stopped by the off licence picking up a couple of bottles of wine. As she exited the shop she pulled out her cell 'hey, I know its late but you fancy a chat?' she questioned. 'Okay I'll see you at yours in say 5'. Then she made her way across to Donna and Opie's. She knocked on the door and no sooner had Donna opened the door she had her in a hug.

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><p>Okay thanks for reading guys. Can you someone let me know do I need to make direct quotes from the show stand out?<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm really sorry for the delay in uploads. I've been really busy with life stuff. Let me know what you think. Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my upload, I own nothing**.

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><p>Tara was beginning to stir in her bed, which was getting drowned by the sunrays coming from the window. She slowly opened her eyes only slightly which caused her to raise her hand to her heard, 'Shit' was all she thought. And that's when she realised she was at home, she quickly sat up in bed and in doing so it caused her head to throb harder. Tara raised her hands to head in disbelief at how hungover she was. She didn't even remember getting home. She relaxed a bit when she noticed she was still in her cloths from the night before only thing missing was her boots. She got up from her bed very slowly and went to the bathroom and washed up. She came out, checked the time and it was still early so she just grabbed her robe and headed for the kitchen. There was a full pot of coffee on and a bottle of aspirin on the table. Tara looked around but there was no sign of anyone else in the house. She poured a small glass of water and knocked back a few aspirin. She then headed back to her room and got changed. And on her way back out she grabbed a cup of coffee. Just before pulling out of the drive she picked up her phone and sent a text to Donna 'What the hell happened last night? I don't remember a thing.'<p>

Tara got to hospital early and got her paperwork in order. This was going to be a long shift. She went to get on Able and was chatting with the nurse when she noticed him standing at the window. When she looked to him he raised his hand and waved to her. Tara left the room to go speak with him. He watched her intently as he greeted her 'he's moving around a lot more'.

'All his vitals are up' she responds facing him with a slight smile, her slight smile. As Jax takes in the news he looks to his son and asks in a serious tone worry entering his mind 'Any permanent damage … cause of the drugs, brain or anything?' He watches her as she begins to turn and respond, he's taking in everything, there once was a time when he could see right through her. This was one of those times and he sure as hell didn't want to have to call her on it. 'Can't say for sure but everything so far points to a full recovery' she tells him meeting his gaze. It's the truth; he knows that from the way she meets his eyes. There's so much distance between them yet he still trusts her. 'How long is he going to be in that thing?' he questions as he nods to the incubator that is his sons current home. 'A couple of weeks but he'll be in the nicu for at least 2/3 months.' There she'd told him the facts and answered his questions it was now time to make a move but she couldn't. 'Hey look' Jax began as he turned away from the window and went to sit on the seat right by it, 'I'm sorry for last night it wasn't'. 'I really don't want to know' she tells him cutting him off before he can finish. Jax responds 'Right' smiling up at her. Tara's curious at his smile 'What?' 'Just figured you'd land a million miles from this place. You always hated it here' there it was he opened it up. 'I didn't hate Charming, Jax, just me in it at the time.' Jax soaking up her answer as memories flood his mind 'Yea'. 'Looks like Wendy's going to be okay' she tells him as she sits on the seat next to him. He looks to her again 'Define okay?' he questions with a smile. 'We're taking her through sedated detox. She'll be out for a couple of days.' Jax nods in response not knowing what to say. Tara notices the hesitation ' You two… are you together? There she'd asked the question. Jax slightly smiles, 'Na. I filled over a year ago. She got clean about ten months back. We tried to reconcile. Didn't work out too well' he tells her. Tara looks at him 'Well looks like one good thing came out of it.' Jax thinks about it 'Yea… I guess it did' he looks to her ' you should get going' he tells her as he puts his hand down on her thigh. Tara looks at him ' Yea I'm late for rounds'. Tara stands and takes a step away breaking away from his touch 'hey' he says to her. When she looks back to him he responds 'its good to have you back'. She nods and moves on.

'What the hell is that suppose to mean' she though to herself. Her mind was racing so much unsaid between them both. Well at least she could go home after rounds and sleep the rest of this hangover off before she had to come back later for a shift in the ER. She hears her cell beep. She pulls it out of her lab coat. 'I'll fill you in later. Fancy another one tonight?' Donna. Tara considered it for a couple of moments and managed to message her friend back before she heard her name being paged. 'Rain-check? Tomorrow night?' Tara placed her cell back in her lab coat as she rushed down the hall. Unbeknown to her Jax watched her every move and when he her name being called out he smiled. His smiled widened as he saw her rush down the hall of the hospital in her scrubs and lab coat. He shakes his head and nods to himself all the time smiling to himself. There was just something special about seeing her be who she wanted to be. He shrugged it off as he sat down by his boy and pulled out a storybook.

On her way home from her shift at the ER Tara thought it would be a good time to do her shopping. It'd be quite this time of the morning. As she headed in she looked to the road where she could hear the roar of Harleys coming down Main Street, she recognised one as Op. 'Looks like I'm only the only one to have had a late one' she though to herself. She got in and out as quick as she could. When she got in and put the shopping away she was too tried to think anymore and went to bed.

She woke late, and looked at the clock it was 5. 'Shit' she thought to herself. She'd slept through her alarm. As she got up from bed she heard her phone beep. She grabbed it from her nightstand and headed towards the kitchen and put the coffee on. She flipped her phone open there were a couple of messages from Donna checking that she was still on for tonight. Tara responded to her friend 'Yea. Meet here at about 7 and then head into town?' Tara questioned. It was only a moment before her phone was beeping again 'Sure. See you in a bit.' Tara continued on with her breakfast of sorts and started to get ready for a good catch up with her friend.

Donna showed up dead on time and luckily Tara had ordered the taxi just before for it wouldn't be long. 'You okay? You seem tried!' Tara questioned her friend as she entered the house. 'Let just say I need to get out for a while' came her friends response. This response concerned Tara as it wasn't like Donna to get all strung out that was her job. 'Taxi's on its way, should be here any minute' Tara told her. Just as she finished that sentence they both her a car horn, Donna looked to her friend and said with a smile 'Spooky'. They both shared a laugh on they're way to the car. There it was no more tension, it was gone for both of them.

When they both walked into the bar they both sighed a breath of relief. There was no club members or any members of any rival clubs around and that was most likely to do with the fact that it seemed to be the local hang out for law enforcement. They both looked to the pool table in the corner and agreed in silence. Donna headed towards the table while Tara went to the bar. As she came back to the pool table Donna had already racked the balls up ready to play. Tara sensing the frustration in her friend allowed her to break. Donna hit the balls hard, harder then what Tara could remember. 'Looks like you needed that' Tara said to her friend slightly smiling. Donna looked up and said 'Yea' and took her next shot but missed the pot this time. Tara took a swig of her drink before going to take her shot. Tara looked up at her friend who was drinking a large amount of her drink quite quickly. 'You wanna tell me about it, before you drink this place dry?' Donna looked at her friend and relented. Donna spilled her guts about the money problems her and Op were facing the run in with Gemma too. Tara shook her head realising how much her friend bottled up. Now was not the time or the place to bring up things with Jax or with 'hurry up will ya or I will drink this place dry at your expense' Donna said cutting into her thoughts. Tara missed her shot and handed the cue back to Donna. Tara filled Donna in on her conversations with both Wendy and Gemma, which helped de-stress them both. Now that they both had vented they're frustrations they could enjoy their evening of drinks and pool. As the night went on Tara's game improved while Donnas lessened. They both had noticed David Hale enter the bar with other colleagues of law enforcement. After Donna came back with more drinks Tara was beginning to drift back to the days she considered the good times 'Why is it that everything gets screwed up once you hit high school?' she questions Donna. Donna takes in what she's looking at and answers 'hormones. I miss those days too you know. I missed them a hell of a lot more while you were away though' Donna informs her friend. Tara looks to her friend smiling 'I missed you too. But you have to admit those days when we were all friends were the best. You remember what it was like before the patch right?' Tara questions her friend again. 'Yea but we found our way back didn't we?' Donna answers. 'Some of us did' Tara answers her as they begin to reminisce on the so-called good old days.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading people, would really appreciate a review so please let meknow what you think.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my upload, I own nothing.**

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><p>It wasn't hard to reminisce about the old days when the carnival had just been in town. They had made it the annual event of the year. Every year right before school they'd meet up at the end of summer carnival and hang out catching up on the summer events. It was the last one they went too together, the one before going to high school. They all meet at the panic table outside the park at the usual time. Donna spoke up interrupting her thoughts 'Where you at?' 'You remember that last carnival before high school?' Tara questioned her old friend. 'Yea, it's a hard one to forget' Donna stated. Tara slightly smiled 'yea'. Donna began to giggle at a memory. 'What?' Tara questioned once again amused at her friend. 'Me and Hale were the first to arrive, bout 5mins early and we were both busting each others chops over the upcoming year about which clubs and societies we called each other on when the boys turned up with extras.' Donna said. Tara nodded to her friend as she continued. 'Anyhow the boys sauntered up to the bench and Hale got a hump on him over the extras.' Donna said and continued 'and that's when things went south' she continued. Anyhow the boys were surprised when they didn't see you with us already, as they were always the ones being late. While the extras hung back it still wasn't good enough for Hale. 'So where is she?' Jax questioned 'was hoping our show up early might catch her off guard' he said. 'Leave it alone Jax. She needs us right now so I'd suggest your guest leave!' Hale answered. 'We all turned on him. He was keeping something from us and we didn't like it' Donna stated as a matter of fact. Tara looked at her friend as she drank her drink and let her continue. For the first time she was hearing what had happened before she turned up. 'We questioned him but he won't tell us. All he said was that he'd heard some stuff and that it was up to you to tell us!' And then we saw you walking up to us with your dyed hair and smoking. Tara laughed a little as she could remember their faces. She looked to her friend and said 'Yea. It was a crazy time'. Donna spoke up in shock and said 'it was insane. The girl who would've given us crap for changing things up by inviting others to our thing turning up with some douche having changed herself!' Tara nodded and drank some more of her beer as she remembered. That was the summer when they found out her mom was sick. Donna could see where her mind was going 'look the stuff that went down with us back then is not your fault. That had started the moment we all became friends. Our parents were against our little group if you remember. We were doomed from the beginning with all the history between them all' Donna told her. Tara still couldn't help but think that things could be different. Donna finished her beer and went to the bathroom before going to the bar for the next round. Tara was a bit tired of pool and went to the jukebox and choosing a couple of old ones. While she was there on her own, Hale approached her. 'Hey, I made those calls' he said. Tara looked at him not saying a single word but raising an eyebrow questioning him. 'It's still in effect here. If this guy shows up, Tara let me know so I can help' he said to her. She shifted uneasily as she saw Donna approaching them. 'Hey' Donna said as Hale turned and walked away. 'Donna' he answered on his way back to the bar. 'What'd he want?' Donna questioned. 'He was just saying thanks as I helped him out a little earlier' she answered. Although she was already somewhat drunk she wanted more, as she needed to block out that phone call she received. The girls drank some more and began signing and dancing to the jukebox.<p>

Although the bartender was enjoying the show, he had a quite word with Hale due to a couple of complaints from other customers. Hale took note and the girls already had a couple of drinks lined up so he knew it would be pointless to interfere at this point. 'I'll handle it although it will take a few minutes' he said. Hale exited the bar and pulled his cell he rang Op. 'Hello' Opie had answered, that was a good sign at least Hale smiled to himself. 'Op, it's Hale. The girls are down here at the bar and are causing a bit of noise. The bartender asked me ' Op cut him off. 'I'll be there as soon as I can. Just need someone to watch the kids' Op told him and put the phone down. He thought for a minute about who to leave the kids with but he didn't want any of the neighbours seeing Donna in whatever state she was in. He took a chance and called Pinney who had gone to dinner at Gemma's. 'Yea' Pinney said as he answered his cell. Dinner was over and there was only a few left around drinking. Jax was close to Pinney and notice it was Op who'd called. 'You want me to stop by the bar instead, son?' Pinney questioned. 'Alright. That makes sense I'll be there soon as I can' Pinney said as he ended the call with his son. Jax looked up at the old man as he stood up and headed to the door. Jax followed him and stopped him 'everything alright old man?' Pinney looked to Jax unsure of how much, if anything he should say. He then looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear 'Op's got to go pick the girls up from the bar. He's had a call from Hale and needs someone to watch the kids. Jax with eyebrows raising 'girls?' he questioned. Pinney then spoke up 'Donna went out Jax that's all there is too it!' But Jax understood, the only person Donna would go to a bar with is Tara. Jax spoke up and said 'I'll meet him at he bar!' he said determinately. Pinney knew better than to question. And they both headed out.

Jax was parked right outside the bar waiting on Op. Hale had saw the bike pull up and he headed out thinking it was Op. When he saw it was Jax 'How long till Op gets here?' Hale questioned Jax. Jax just shrugged his shoulders in response. 'Look the girls are getting ready to leave, that's all' Hale said defensively. Hale turned around to head back into the bar when he heard a truck pull up. He nodded to Op who jumped out of the truck as he continued to head back into the bar. As he opened the door the two girls where coming towards him holding onto each laughing and smiling. As they passed Hale both of them straighten up and saluted him both say 'On our way now Chief' which set them off again until they were both on the sidewalk facing Op and Jax. Tara's cell rang she looked at the id 'Unkonwn' and put it back in her bag without answering. Donna looked to Tara and hugged her tight to distract the men from noticing how pale and frozen she had become. Both Op and Jax exchanged looks. Donna loosen her grip and looked her 'its gonna be alright. I'm right here' she said a little louder then she should've. Both men exchanged a look again this time with a hint of worry crossing their faces. Hale who'd also overheard came back to Tara 'Was that him?' he questioned her. This forced the guys to move forward. They were now standing inches away from the girls. Tara looked to Donna and turned to face Hale 'It was nothing she said calmly.' Donna could read her friend like a book and no matter how calmly she answered Hale she knew better. 'Okay that's it, you're coming home with us' Donna told her. Again this caused an exchange of looks between the men. Tara laughed and shook her head 'Op take her home she needs some sleep'. 'You don't want a lift?' Op questioned her. 'No. I'll be fine she said'. Op then picked Donna up who was protesting and placed her in the truck. Going round to the drivers seat 'don't go making this a habit Doc.'. He then turned to Jax 'ride easy brother'. Jax nodded to Op who was pulling away in the truck. He turned his attention back to Tara 'You okay?' She looked at him 'Yea' and began to walk down the street. 'You sure you don't want a ride?' he questioned her hopeful. Tara just turned her head 'I'm sure. I need to clear my head, the walk will do me good' she answered him and walked on. Jax lit another smoke and sat on his bike as he watched her walk down the street making sure she was okay. Half way down he saw her stop and take off her shoes. He smiled to himself thinking back at how she would always walk barefoot along the road during the summer nights while they were out and about.

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><p>Many thanks for reading and reviewing guys. I've been in two minds about uploading it as I think it could do with a little work. Anyhow, its up now and I hope I've not dispointed you all too much x<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Something I forgot to say at the beginning of my upload, I own nothing.

Her eyes flicker open slowly, to the room before her flooded with sunlight. Her head begins to throb heavily, remembering the night before and the cause of her heavily throbbing head. She slowly sits up figuring it must be late morning considering how late it was when she eventually reached home last night. She'd didn't regret it. It was good not to be looking over her shoulder every 30 seconds and be out again. She got up and went into the kitchen and took some painkillers. After her shower she was feeling a little more herself, and decided she was in the humour for a fry up but she didn't have anything in the house. She took her keys and headed out. At first she didn't notice but as she walked to the drivers side she noticed pink rose petals moving with the breeze on the bonnet of the car. She lifted her head in sudden recognition and searched the street with her eyes for anything different. No nothing. She turned and headed back inside. She opened the closet door and reached to a box on the high self. She quickly took the box from its place and placed in on the armchair in front of her. She removed an old cloth that seemed to be acting as cover for something. She gently removed the cloth and there it was the gun she thought she'd never need again to feel safe. She placed it in her handbag and headed out. She needed food to help her think straight again. She sent Donna a text to meet her at the café. She needed to confide in someone who would help her figure out what to do next.

Donna enters the café and sees Tara consistently looking around and up and down the street. She's looking for someone of something that's not her. Donna orders a strong coffee at the counter and cautiously approaches her friend. Donna slides into the booth opposite Tara. As Tara turns and looks she jumps quickly at the figure before her eyes. She quickly realises its Donna and apologises quickly but she can't escape the worried look on her friends face. Before either can say a word, the waitress comes across 'Extra strong coffee' placing it in front of Donna. Tara raises an eyebrow at her friend who eyes her back 'this is your fault remember' she replied with a smile hoping to relax Tara enough to let her know what the hell is happening. Tara giggled a bit and smiled at her friend 'Alright I guess I deserve that!' she responded with the finest of smiles. Donna looked back at her friend and notice how on edge she seemed. 'Is this to do with that phone call from last?' Donna questioned her. Tara took a deep breath and looked to her friend 'Yea. I think he's here.' Donna began to look around the diner knowing her friend was talking about the stalker ex boyfriend, while Tara grabbed her sleeve bringing her attention back 'Not here at the diner but here in Charming'. Donna's eyes widen with worry for her friend. Tara continued on and they both discussed what she could do. Running was not an option considering he came looking for her here. Donna wouldn't allow her friend be chased out by this guy. Although Donna didn't like guns she was glad Tara had something to protect herself against this guy if he try getting close. Donna suggested that maybe it was time to open up to the guys over things. Tara thought for a moment and looked to her friend 'Do you really think they could sit and listen to all that and still play nice?' questioning her friend. Donna nodded 'Alright, maybe you're right. Well maybe just play close to the club maybe that'll work'. 'That could work and I wouldn't need to tell anyone else.' The both exchanged looks and nodded. Donna looked at her watch and realised the time and had to go. Tara got the bill and now more relaxed headed to the car.

She decided to go across to the Teller-Morrow garage and get the lads to take a look at it. As Tara pulls into the garage, Jax and Bobby are getting ready to pull out. He looks to Bobby 'Alright give me a minute.' Bobby just eyes him 'Yea I'll find you' Bobby answers and heads out. Jax takes his helmet off and places it on the bike as he turns and walks towards the car. 'Everything okay?' he asks as she's climbing out of it. As she stands 'Was hoping you could help with the cutlass. Its in pretty sad shape' she states. Jax in a bit of shock takes a look 'Shit this was your Dad's right' he answers. 'It was in the garage under two tones of old newspapers.' Jax nods his head knowingly. 'Just bring it in back and Lowell will take a look at it ' Jax tells her. Tara responds nervously 'Okay, thanks. Was hoping you could give me a lift home' she says hopeful. Jax looks to her 'Actually I'm just heading out for a couple of days' he tells her a little disappointed that he's having to give up the opportunity to catch up with her. 'Okay.' She answers thinking quickly 'Anything come up with the baby who should I call?' 'He's out of the woods right?' Jax questions her worried. 'Yea yea just in case of procedural stuff' she tells him quickly annoyed at herself for worrying him. 'Just let my Mum know if you need anything' he says pointing to Gemma who was pulling in right up beside them both. 'Everything okay?' Gemma questioned eyeing Tara. 'Yea fine, just here to get her car fixed' Jax answered her and continued 'actually could you give Tara a ride home. She's got to leave the cutlass here'. Tara tried to jump in 'No its okay I'll just take a c' but Gemma cuts her off 'Would love to give the good doctor a lift.' Gemma then questions Jax where he's going. 'Relax Mum its going to be fine' he tells her as he leans into the car and kisses her on the cheek. As he turns back to Tara he has wide smile and leans into her side placing his had on her waist and kisses her on the cheek. As he withdraws his face away his hand lingers a little longer on her waist before he completely removes it as he moves towards his bike.


End file.
